So, today it begins. Who’s ready to get this party started?!
Just to catch you up a bit, it turns out that it was a great thing we didn’t start chemotherapy last week. My chemo plan has completely changed up since finding out that ol’ Lefty is actually hormone sensitive. Now we are doing 6 rounds of chemo, one six hour session every three weeks. There will also be daily shots, at least this first week, to help keep my immune system up (rumor is they are worse than the chemo i.e. bone pain). It’ll be worth it. And seriously, having a twin C-section without anesthesia will sufficiently hike up your pain tolerance… I’m ready. The Doc even bet me a dollar the other day that my PET scan would show the cancer was entirely gone post chemo. WHEN the cancer is gone, we will go in for a double mastectomy.
Anyone hear that bell? Because, this fight just started. Countdown ON, knockers!
Ok. Ok. So maybe I’m being a bit cocky. It honestly helps me cope to be in this mindset of over-confidence. So many of you have sent your encouragement in the form of praise, this week especially. Sometimes I feel like I need to go back and re-read what I’ve written so I can maybe see a little bit of what you’re seeing. Before I hit publish, I always ask Cam the same question, “Am I being honest?”. I never want to deceive you as we go through this together but every time I find, I’m just me. I’m just surviving the only way I know how. I have been humbled in the knowledge that so many of you are finding your own strength through this process. We don’t get to choose our obstacles. We can only choose how we react to them. For me, I don’t want to cower, I want to charge head first, because, well sometimes I’m just all in for this moment. That’s why today, we decided to literally get this party started. We came geared up for some fun!
Because I’m at least 20 years younger than anyone else in the open bay area, the stares were already coming anyway. Why not kick it up a notch? When the IV Benadryl that was supposed to make me drowsy kicked in… we literally said ‘screw it’. You see… apparently the “drowsy” stuff makes me bounce off the walls. I told them they may strap me to the chair if I started dancing! Ha! But seriously… So we got on a good level with all the staff here, who I’m sure are pleased (or not) that I was ready for some giggles… Definitely complimenting the gals on their choice today of Kentucky blue scrubs! We watched Divergent to get ready for the sequel tomorrow, which we are committed to come hell or high water. I had a sweet little lunch date with the mister who had to leave afterwards to rescue the tinys (or Melody from the tinys, who knows?) . And now… I’m catching you up! And coloring… okay mostly coloring! Can we consider chemo time a mini vacation? Is that wrong?
I only get a few more days, maybe hours, of energy so I’m taking full advantage of the steroids and the high that intravenous Benadryl seems to give me. Tomorrow, we will worry about tomorrow (and the side effects to come). I can’t dwell on it because it’s still an unknown. And how silly would it be to worry about something that isn’t a problem yet? (Trust me that was not always the case with me). Sometimes going through something big makes you stop worrying about the small. Suddenly, so much just falls away. All I know… Today was a good day because we chose to make it that way!