We are three days into Round 1 of chemo and I have to tell you… those side effects are no joke. Although everything is currently super manageable, today has been the first day without steroids and the second day of bone pain inducing injections (5 more of those to go this round). Needless to say, this is going to get worse. I have no doubt in my mind. The first day post chemo, I started journaling any and all side effects that popped up to help me better plan for the next rounds. I’m pretty sure by the end of the day, the list looks a lot worse than the reality. With the better half of the Pepto jingle in my head, a faux sunburn covering my body, and 10 POUNDS worth of swelling, yesterday was a cake walk compared to today. Today, the exhaustion really set in, begging the question…. “How the heck am I going to do anything but watch Netflix and eat popsicles for the next 4 months?”
The real, unexpected side effects of chemo can’t be found on any prep list. Like, why did no one warn me I’d be almost compulsively obsessed with shaving my head?! For weeks now, all my dreams have starred a very bald me, which leads me to believe I’m definitely having some control issues here. The thought of watching it fall out has me wanting to break out the trimmers every few minutes! I feel that moment of commitment coming soon. I won’t let a little hair control me.
My furry child has also popped up as an unlikely side effect. I’m convinced that the little dog can legitimately SMELL the chemo working its way out of my body. He can’t leave me be. If he tries to get any closer, he might as well move into my mouth because his head just keeps appearing there!
The biggest part of starting this process has been the realization that… I have cancer. Sure, I’m very well aware that I’ve had it all along, and it’s been a sort of reality for awhile now. But until the feeling of sickness finally hits your body, there is still a part of you that denies it. I’d find myself saying “I’m completely healthy, except I have cancer”. Because, how can one be so sick and feel so fine? This new battle on my body gives my head a run for its money because, it is a lot harder to forget when the side effects are with you all day.