Ok guys! I know… Naughty blogger. It’s been almost a whole month. It’s been busy…. and very sleepy (Is it bedtime yet?). So lets start where we left off…
Chemo Number 4. Shew! That was a rough one! Unfortunately, this was also the round I told my mom she didn’t need to come and the mister he didn’t need to miss work by taking leave. Wow was I a cocky little devil with that game plan. Again, shows me for setting expectations. Okay, yes. I get it. I got to stop thinking I know what’s happening because I have no idea what’s next!
Thankfully, that round was violent but quick. I felt good enough to plan a party for the tinys (can I get a hallelujah, Amazon Prime). My tiny humans turned two on June 1st and I still can’t get over it. Where did the time go? I have to confess something. This year was so amazing that I think I couldn’t really help but get over chemo fast enough to celebrate. Sure two is a great age and all (okay, I’m loving it, you caught me) but celebrating year one was laden with horrible PTSD style flashback memories of an overly traumatic delivery. There was a fear that each year would bring back the memories good and bad (how selfish am I? Girl get over it). I’m so grateful that was not the case. Year two only brought nostalgia rather than vivid pangs from an anesthesia free abdominal butchering. So why am I telling you this? I honestly think it was the cancer that helped me let go of the anger and fear associated with event. You just have to let it go…. LET IT GO! LET IT GO! (oh no…. it’s in my head).
The birthday party weekend was followed by an epic crash. That pretty much tells me I was running on pure adrenaline trying to make sure the twins didn’t feel any birthday neglect thanks to this situation. So again…. I fall into exhaustion. And again…. I made an epic attempt to pull it together for the weekend. I have these best friends. I’ve known them since middle school. And 5 of the 8 of us managed to sneak off to Tybee Island/ Savannah for the weekend. BEST MEDICINE EVER. To say these girls have been with me 147% through this entire ordeal would be such an understatement. I’m glad they could finally see me because it hurts me to no end to think they worry. I know they’ll still think about me, but… like I’ve said before, once you see me, it’s hard to treat me like I’m sick (Thank God! No one likes a pity party).
And, because it’s been groundhog’s day for the last four months…. we are back to exhaustion. Maybe I over did it this round. But then again, the doctor told me to brace myself. Apparently, round five and six are going to be real doozies. This is about the time your immune system gives up and your body stops fighting the chemo and starts embracing it. Got to earn it right? But I really don’t care. I can feel miserable for 30 straight days and I’ll be okay with it because we are precisely 22 days away from my last chemo.
Fun fact though…. my doctor in passing mentions that I’ll still have to come in every three weeks for a year! Whaaaat?! Way to spring that on a girl! Turns out, one of the hormone blockers has to be administered for an entire year. The good news is there are no side effects, its a year from the start of chemo not the end, and infusions will only last 30 minutes. The bad news…. this is the drug that requires monitoring of my heart because it can really damage it. After that surprise, I was a little uncomfortable about any other “fun” new information. But, the only other thing he told me was to get cracking on a surgeon. Don’t have to tell me twice! Appointment was Monday, by Tuesday morning my referral was already processing. Hopefully, the next time I check in I’ll have all the details on my upcoming surgery. Let’s shut this thing DOWN! (you can’t see it but… there’s a party dance happening).
ps. How awesome is my family? So awesome!