I know. I left you hanging for the last several weeks and been breaking promises too. Even though I kept telling you a post is coming, I was really just living up to the promise I made last blog.
Plans. Fun. Living.
But I know it’s overdue. So many questions and concerns flood me every day that I know I owe you an hour of my time. So here goes…..
What’s up, Ashley?
Well…. I have been throwing parties. Getting tattoos. Celebrating milestones. Packing up the entirety of a home and relocating it to Tennessee. Purchasing a house and making it our own. Oh, yeah and living with terminal cancer.
Almost forgot this was supposed to be a medical update… (and I’m getting to it). But you see now? I have cancer but it most certainly doesn’t have me. That is not to say it doesn’t effect my life. It definitely controls about every moment of my day and how I do it. But I still get up in the morning and do it anyway.
So, ready for a shot of the hard stuff? Literally the day after the big move, I was able to establish my treatment and care at Vanderbilt. The first meeting? A horse pill of an appointment to swallow solo. Stubborn me decided it would be fine to go alone. I left the office in tears. Have I mentioned that I didn’t want to know prognosis and dates and such? That would be too much like a clock ticking over my head. She gave them to me anyway…
There is a very good reason that I haven’t given you guys the name of my cancer. It is bad. Very bad. But I call bullshit on anyone trying to tell me how long I get to fight. There are simply too many variables in this science experiment to predict my conclusion. Damn it, I’m a rare unicorn of being super extra. The doctor basically confirmed it. NO ONE gets this type of reoccurrence. Like… a tiny margin. Just like only a small percentage of breast cancers are BRCA positive. So guess what? I’m really flippin special here. Like…. they should being paying me for the insight, “special”. I sincerely doubt that I fall into anyone’s straight and narrow.
Another thing giving me (and you) hope….
I had my first chemo one week ago. That was definitely three hard days of awful but I only need to do it every three weeks. Dude, I so got that. But, thankfully we won’t really have to much longer. We are awaiting FDA approval for a medication that should be available sometime as soon as June or July. It would be a daily pill with significantly better quality of life. (Sidenote : I hate that phrase. It feels like yours supposed to pick length or quality and that’s just not the situation here, at least we hope).
So… That’s about all I have for you guys at the moment. Just know that I’m still here…. Being that annoying special snowflake in the complete wrong way and trying to make my own statistics.